Good Morning all!

It's been a while......but I promise, I'm back.



This morning, upon perusing facebook I saw a friend's status message which considered outgrowing friends...... a theme which has been quite common in my head lately. And it reminded me of an idea my father posed to me years ago.

As a child, I didnt understand how my parents could introduce me to somebody and say the person "use to be my best friend." I would always ask, what happened? What could they possibly mean that somebody so close to them......is no longer close to them.


Daddy explained to me that our lives are like windy paths. Some people's paths take the same twists, turns, and dips as ours do. And those people will roll alongside you forever. Other peoples will seemingly do the same, but then for no rhyme or reason simply veer off; another person's will briefly cross. And it's okay. Accepting my dad's word as the gospel truth, as most children do, this stayed with me forever. And especially in the hardest of times losing someone to growth, and death-- I've been able to let go.

Today, I'm going to add to this idea.

There may come a time that we feel that we need to change the direction of our path, or that we need to get on somebody else's. And when that time comes- we must see where the new road is headed- and make it our own. It just may land us far from home, and it would be a travesty to want to or need to return.

That addition would have gone right in line with dad's philosophies that children are raised to go away from their parents. At this point, my father would reference birds which drop their babies out of nest if they dont fly, or perhaps a shark which will eat their young if they don't swim away fast enough. While these examples may be extreme- he is right. Parents teach and prepare children for the world, and then they are to go- to complete their growth and the cycle of life.

Undoubtedly, once one is no longer under the rule of their parents, they may want to do things differently, go different places. One may fall in love and decide to abandon or ammend their personal dreams and live in the collective. Regardless, all roads may not lead back to the starting place. It would be wise to own a change and make it your own.

Bible readers and believers may reference Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

Faith in God; prayer and belief in His omniscience; your path is not unclear for God is directing it.

Have a great day, and a great weekend all!!!!!!!


My father - Mr. Kevin L. Hopkins was raised in Brooklyn, NY. He has been married for over 20 years to the beautiful Joyce. He is a 20 year veteran of the MTA. He is respected by everybody he knows for his philosphies, general knowledge and confidence. He is fraternal and a natural leader. Kevin is also the current president of the Brooklyn chapter of the East Coast Bad Boyz Motorcycle Club.

PUNISHMENT

On the phone with my sister girl lastnite she paused to chastise her daughter.

Apparently, the almost 3-year-old stepped behind the television, where she wasn't supposed to be, and then got her legs tangled in the cords and couldn't get out. After having told the child not to go back there several times, my sister decided to leave the child back there for a couple minutes. She reminded her that she had no business back there, and told her she was going to leave there until bed time. I knew she had no intention of doing such thing, but I'm sure the child felt a range of emotions.

Babies rely on their mothers, so by mother not helping her get out of an uncomfortable and semi-chaotic spot it breaks that team notion that mom will pick up the slack every time. It causes baby to think on a more independent level and after enough incidences baby will think before acting realizing that mom may not.....or will not assist. I think this is a very important lesson.....

I am sure that when I am a mother I will do the same thing. However, when I think back to my tweens and teens these lessons were not so effective. I felt like they drove a wedge between my parents and I. Life will have so many lessons, I don't need to learn lessons at home. While I am grateful for some, I'm still not so happy with others- but it balances out.

Many of us who grew up with these types of parents (I take my hat off to all of you because it's hard to teach your kids effectively) grow up with the lesson giving mentality. We take it all through life and apply it in spheres where we should be promoting dependence and teamwork.

These lessons were to teach independence--so when your co-worker does something you don't agree with, proverbially "teaching them a lesson" draws a divide on the team. Because somebody did something you didn't agree with, is it now right to be tardy on your reports? That is consequently going to hold everybody up-and just may come back to you somehow. It will definitely lessen the motivation of the "lesson learner" to continue working with you.

When your BF/GF does something you don't agree with, why wouldn't you want to draw them closer to you as opposed to pushing them away with negative reinforcements? If you don't like that your honey told friends about an argument, why would you stop speaking to them? That's just going to push them further. And probably fuel them to tell everybody that you're being even more stubborn

If your neighbor puts their trash out to early without a can, and you now a raccoon is going to tear it up, why wouldn't u pull their can around front and help them? Realize, their trash will undeniably make the entire block look bad. So who is really learning the lesson?

Personally, I react very negatively when I realize somebody is trying to make an example out of me, or teach me something. As a child, there was nothing worse to me than my mom saying "I was going to take you (insert fun here) but you don't deserve it so I'm not." I believe that is torture. If as a mother you no longer want to sacrifice the money on taking me someplace, then don't-it's your prerogative. But why do you need to tell me? Especially if I didn't ask. Now, if I asked and was looking forward to it, that's a totally different story. And now as an adult that has carried over and magnified 200 times over. People telling me what they're not going to do because of my attitude and actions makes me so upset; it makes me not want to deal with them at all. My reactions is Who do you think you are? You are not here to to teach me a lesson!

The fact of the matter is, sometimes instead of trying to teach others, we should teach ourselves more effective ways with dealing with the issue at hand. We can learn how to avoid such problem in the future. We should verbally communicate, and not leave it to our actions.

I love you

When I look into your eyes, I see depths that my wildest dreams cannot imagine

When I feel your heartbeat I feel a strength I cannot comprehend

Your nature has a control of me- that's visible to all

The passion that exists- the passion that flows- the fire that burns

I pray that we fan the flames forever

Premature

Man cannot survive on bread alone

Man is not meant to be alone

Numerous creations of art in numerous forms cite love, romance and their place in society. For Christians, the mere creation of Eve to keep Adam's company is enough. It is wholly accepted that people are social creatures, and everybody desires to partner off and travel through life with as a pair.

The media (not just American) plays a big role in placing a high focus and level of urgency on finding such partner that statistically, most people are partnering off prematurely; Hence, over half of American marriages end in divorce. Such number is lower than the fracturing of other partnered relations that do not even make it to the official accepted commitment of marriage.

The focus of relationships and the idea of falling in love is plaguing younger and younger people at a most alarming rate. Within the span of one generation girls were considered "fast" to be engaging in certain extra curricular activities with boys, and now girls of the same age are not only engaging in these activities but are doing so openly. This fad of pairing off is diminishing of the point of doing so. It has become pointless and effectively meaningless.

Of course, I am imparting my lifestyle, ideals, and, principles on everyone and measuring them against the Naomi's metre-stick of life.....but this is my blog (kisses).

With companionship as a given, it seems to me that unless partnering off for survival, the only other reason is for self improvement. After finding, or (for those of us who haven't yet accepted that we're ALWAYS looking) "happening" upon somebody who we (are probably first attracted to) like spending time with, we begin to evaluate other factors. Based upon our personal lists of what we will and won't deal with we either gravitate towards or away from the individual in question. So, it also seems to me, that these personal lists that we have are subjective; and some people will accept so much more than others, why do people settle?

The need to be paired off, or wanted is so great that some people will stay in an unhealthy or otherwise non-stimulating situation just to avoid not being alone. In essence, contributing to the high relationship-failure rate. Perhaps more relationships would survive if people actually waited until they found (lol, or happened upon) a person who they were more compatible (than not) with.

Certain elements such as trust, communication, and agreement are usually attributed to healthy relationships, however there are some other important ones that are overlooked. To live together, people need to be able to grow together. Growing is inevitable, and unless growing in the same direction, a couple cannot expect to remain a couple. Two people must also have a basic understanding of each other, acceptance of a person's ideas and actions are not enough, one must understand why their partner makes the choices they do to alleviate frustration and alienation. Lastly, I believe that many people overlook the fact that two people should be at similar places in their lives.

These things are very important to me. I am excited to happen upon the person who accepts me for who I am, and most importantly understands why I am. Someone who like me is not where there want to be as yet, but has a strong sense of self. Someone who I can share a transient understanding, a special element with. Whose mind and status can maintain such element which my soul recognizes as its complimentary counterpart.....the S to my N. The South to my North.

Over and Over

Over and over
No end in sight
Over and Over
Gotta get this right



Repeat

Cycle

Circle

Repitition



This can't be right
We've got to do bette
Over and Over
Gotta get this right



Habit

Role

Rehearsal

Homo


I know where we went wrong
I see the catalyst
Over and Over
Gotta get this right


Mundane

Same

Similar

Monotonous


Over and Over
Gotta get this right
I see where we went wrong
Won't stop 'til it's tight

Same song

--This dropped into my soul after a heart to heart with a beautiful friend. And although other people's experiences motivate and inspire me quite often, I rarely do dedications, but this I dedicate to her strength....

SAME SONG

The lyrics may be different
But it’s the same old song.
The variance of words almost overpowered the tune
But I’ve heard this song many times before
Fast, slow, the remix, and the cover.

It may be the first time for you,
But for me it’s all too familiar.
And instead of music, it’s more like pain to my ears
So let me press pause before you reach the second verse
My heart’s recognition of the chorus hurts enough.

Somewhere to turn, someone to talk to

This is a very special piece, very dear to my heart. And I want to share it because somebody needs to be told YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There will be times when we have to deal with things on our own. Times will arise where the best of friends, and even family will not be there. There will be times where you feel like there is nobody you can call, and there will be times where there really is nobody for you to call. But remember you are not the first, nor the last, and we must learn from every experience. To all my sisters, and to anybody who has ever felt alone; do not worry because when things get better they will be that much better. At your lowest point, you can always rise. And remember, the Lord thy God will never leave you. You always have somewhere to turn, and someone to talk to. You simply have to open your mouth.


Standing alone- in a room full of people…..
Nowhere to turn
No one to talk to

Laying alone when he’s right beside me
Afraid to turn
Because there’s no one to talk to

A careless body
An empty shell
That thinks he’s providing enough
But I know I have nowhere to turn
No one to talk to

A new experience has brought fear, pain, and the unknown to my doorstep
To upset and ashamed to call for the regular comfort
And now it’s too late.

Something that should have been all about me
Now has to take on the thoughts of everybody else
And I have nowhere to turn
No one to talk to

Little things, and simple gestures are not enough
But little things, and simple gestures mean so much
Especially when I have nowhere to turn
And no one to talk to

I am left in an unbalance
The one that I reject the most
Is the one that I need the most
But he’s left me with nowhere to turn
And no one to talk to

I’ve had drastic changes
To and fro, and it’s too much for me to handle alone
And I have nowhere to turn
And no one to talk to

If it's too much for him, that’s not my fault
I didn’t ask for this
All I want is somewhere to turn
And someone to talk to

REAFFIRMATION

It’s weird how some people come into your life and you immediately know their purpose. And some make a place for themselves. But then others linger until they finally fall into place.

I’ve had the best fortune with those who linger, those who evolved from their original assumed position and have somehow become permanent fixtures. Those who I thought would be for but a season, but have proved to be worthy of a lifetime.

There are many I can call in time of need, few who have no limits, and one that has never judged.
__________________________________________________________________

He approached my hostile situation of

Disappointment and desperation
Dead ends and no options
Lonliness and urgency

“You’re beautiful” he began

I fell in love with you
It wasn’t your beauty, even though you’re gorgeous as hell
He had me thinking I’d put him under some sort of spell….

Of all I’ve known, my love for you is strongest
The most genuine—he compared
It’s not about touching you or sex, and he stared….

I do love laying with you and falling asleep with you beside me
He reassured
And I with you as well, I concurred…..

Your happiness is all I ever wanted
And I know I can’t be selfish he spoke
And at that moment my tears broke…..

You deserve to be happy
He said as he looked at me
So refreshing that he understood my sensitivity

No matter what lies ahead for you or for I
He gently gave
I’m always here to satisfy all you crave

I’m here for you
He kindly offered
Positivity he tried to conjure

His combat technique was

No disappointment, only encouragement
No definites, but endless possibilities
No abandonment, but a pledge of forever…..

“You are wonderful”, I ended

love me or leave me alone

I never forgot how to love I just didn’t want to
I learned how to erect walls so great the Chinese would hate me
But I had to make sure nobody would penetrate me.

Seems so along ago now
Before you entered my life
Before you corrupted my wall
I was so happy in my loveless space
So bliss and unaware of what was about to take place

You watched and waited
Eventually you had a plan
You threw small pebbles that eventually made big holes
And now my wall looks like ancient greek ruins
No longer keeping anybody out, or anybody in
What was once a tall strong structure
Has become a useless mass of vulnerability

I cannot clear the space
I need a reminder, a memorial of my efforts
Clearing the space would indicate I want the love you teased me with
Clearing the space would indicate I want the love you teased me with
Clearing the space would indicate I want the love I worked so hard at avoiding

I’ve decided to repair the lasserations and rebuild my wall
It will not be memorial to your games
I can’t figure out why you would work so hard at tearing down a wall you didn’t want to go through

Love is my best friend

Love....I remember when I stopped looking for it....when I realized I already had it. But until one learns to love them self, they cannot truly recognize it. I was looking for the wrong thing. What I had was simple, pure, and, true....empirical; something like a miracle.
And it's most amazing that such love almost revealed itself to me, but it was not time, and the revelation was rescinded. But not hidden, simply not handed to me on the platter I would've liked; no such presentation was awarded, perhaps because I didn't do my part. But I have seen it now.

The love I speak of saved me before, before I recognized it. But I took it for granted. I knew it was there, I just didn't know what it was. My love stayed with me even when I'd given up. And the best part about it is that my love was never overbearing. It was there when I needed it most, and took a seat in the wings when I thought I didn't. Love has been a protector, a confidant, and strength. Love has been, and is, my best friend.

Now that I see my love, I wonder if subconsciously I knew all along. After all, my love was the only one I never lied to; the one I care most about....and so interestingly, the one I never gave my heart to....Now that I know I can only pray to handle it accordingly. My prayer will be for patience, clarity, understanding and most importantly the ability to hold onto and make the most of this blessing...this gift....of love.