Good Morning all!
It's been a while......but I promise, I'm back.
This morning, upon perusing facebook I saw a friend's status message which considered outgrowing friends...... a theme which has been quite common in my head lately. And it reminded me of an idea my father posed to me years ago.
As a child, I didnt understand how my parents could introduce me to somebody and say the person "use to be my best friend." I would always ask, what happened? What could they possibly mean that somebody so close to them......is no longer close to them.
Daddy explained to me that our lives are like windy paths. Some people's paths take the same twists, turns, and dips as ours do. And those people will roll alongside you forever. Other peoples will seemingly do the same, but then for no rhyme or reason simply veer off; another person's will briefly cross. And it's okay. Accepting my dad's word as the gospel truth, as most children do, this stayed with me forever. And especially in the hardest of times losing someone to growth, and death-- I've been able to let go.
Today, I'm going to add to this idea.
There may come a time that we feel that we need to change the direction of our path, or that we need to get on somebody else's. And when that time comes- we must see where the new road is headed- and make it our own. It just may land us far from home, and it would be a travesty to want to or need to return.
That addition would have gone right in line with dad's philosophies that children are raised to go away from their parents. At this point, my father would reference birds which drop their babies out of nest if they dont fly, or perhaps a shark which will eat their young if they don't swim away fast enough. While these examples may be extreme- he is right. Parents teach and prepare children for the world, and then they are to go- to complete their growth and the cycle of life.
Undoubtedly, once one is no longer under the rule of their parents, they may want to do things differently, go different places. One may fall in love and decide to abandon or ammend their personal dreams and live in the collective. Regardless, all roads may not lead back to the starting place. It would be wise to own a change and make it your own.
Bible readers and believers may reference Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.
Faith in God; prayer and belief in His omniscience; your path is not unclear for God is directing it.
Have a great day, and a great weekend all!!!!!!!
My father - Mr. Kevin L. Hopkins was raised in Brooklyn, NY. He has been married for over 20 years to the beautiful Joyce. He is a 20 year veteran of the MTA. He is respected by everybody he knows for his philosphies, general knowledge and confidence. He is fraternal and a natural leader. Kevin is also the current president of the Brooklyn chapter of the East Coast Bad Boyz Motorcycle Club.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Friday, September 12, 2008
It's a combination of not having enough time- and not having any motivation....this came to me on my ride to work this morning.......
I loved you in a place where everything stood still
Where there was no reality of space a time
Where I pushed ahead and moderation didn’t exist
And only focusing on us was great and not a crime
I loved you in a place where nothing mattered at all
Where there was no reality or gravity or anything at my center
Where I pull behind me nothing and move forward with all force
And only you and I can make sense in my mind
I still love you in a place where I don’t care about anything else
Where reality ceases to exist and I only focus on you
Where I have everything and nothing and that’s all I need
And the chaotic order that haunts me is fine
I loved you in a place where everything stood still
Where there was no reality of space a time
Where I pushed ahead and moderation didn’t exist
And only focusing on us was great and not a crime
I loved you in a place where nothing mattered at all
Where there was no reality or gravity or anything at my center
Where I pull behind me nothing and move forward with all force
And only you and I can make sense in my mind
I still love you in a place where I don’t care about anything else
Where reality ceases to exist and I only focus on you
Where I have everything and nothing and that’s all I need
And the chaotic order that haunts me is fine
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Black In America
Almost a week after Soledad O'Brien's BLACK IN AMERICA documentary; people are still talking. This morning on a popular morning radio talkshow a caller was outraged because he felt that the positives of being black in America were not highlighted as much as they should have been. He went on to say that with Barack Obama getting ready to become President we should leave the pain and poverty of the past behind. That idiot was invited to call the show tomorrow morning at which time there will be a scheduled discussion.
Ms. O'Brien's documentary did an excellent job of depicting the Black America that is forgotten about- primarily because of the successes of Barack Obama, Condoleezza Rice, Oprah Winfrey and other prominent Black figures. Why does America constantly forget that there are people who live in this country who are working the same jobs with the same intensity; some make $50,000 a year, and others are only grossing $14,000 a year. It's not just in Louisiana that people are too disadvantaged to flee before the storm- no matter how still the quiet.
The vast median of Black people are not politicians, investment bankers, or doctors. And when there is a deficienty of exposure it only greatens the caveat of things people don't know that they don't know. It is important to remember the past pains- and pay attention to the poverty to understand the various mindsets of the 35 million African Americans.
BLACK IN AMERICA was not illustrating a Black family that live and plays in the Upper Middle Class. It also didn't illustrate people who migrate here and by 2nd generation they are living and playing in the Upper Middle Class. BIA illustrated the average Black person in a race that only accounts for 12% of the population, but is spending over $520 million dollars annually.
Ms. O'Brien didn't go into detail about the gross brand sensitivity that exists within the Black-American culture. However, she gave a very insightful look into the lives of the people to whom (according to Nielsen) advertisers spend $805 million annually to target. Over 35% of the entire advertising and marketing costs are directed towards Black-Americans. Soledad O'Brien gave faces, and a backstory to the 12.9 million households that are contributing so heftily to the American economy.
While the idiot caller is wondering why more notable Blacks are not highlighted- he should also wonder why only 14% of Black Americans have a Bachelors Degree or higher; yet Blacks spent over $33billion on new cars.
Ms. O'Brien's documentary did an excellent job of depicting the Black America that is forgotten about- primarily because of the successes of Barack Obama, Condoleezza Rice, Oprah Winfrey and other prominent Black figures. Why does America constantly forget that there are people who live in this country who are working the same jobs with the same intensity; some make $50,000 a year, and others are only grossing $14,000 a year. It's not just in Louisiana that people are too disadvantaged to flee before the storm- no matter how still the quiet.
The vast median of Black people are not politicians, investment bankers, or doctors. And when there is a deficienty of exposure it only greatens the caveat of things people don't know that they don't know. It is important to remember the past pains- and pay attention to the poverty to understand the various mindsets of the 35 million African Americans.
BLACK IN AMERICA was not illustrating a Black family that live and plays in the Upper Middle Class. It also didn't illustrate people who migrate here and by 2nd generation they are living and playing in the Upper Middle Class. BIA illustrated the average Black person in a race that only accounts for 12% of the population, but is spending over $520 million dollars annually.
Ms. O'Brien didn't go into detail about the gross brand sensitivity that exists within the Black-American culture. However, she gave a very insightful look into the lives of the people to whom (according to Nielsen) advertisers spend $805 million annually to target. Over 35% of the entire advertising and marketing costs are directed towards Black-Americans. Soledad O'Brien gave faces, and a backstory to the 12.9 million households that are contributing so heftily to the American economy.
While the idiot caller is wondering why more notable Blacks are not highlighted- he should also wonder why only 14% of Black Americans have a Bachelors Degree or higher; yet Blacks spent over $33billion on new cars.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
PUNISHMENT
On the phone with my sister girl lastnite she paused to chastise her daughter.
Apparently, the almost 3-year-old stepped behind the television, where she wasn't supposed to be, and then got her legs tangled in the cords and couldn't get out. After having told the child not to go back there several times, my sister decided to leave the child back there for a couple minutes. She reminded her that she had no business back there, and told her she was going to leave there until bed time. I knew she had no intention of doing such thing, but I'm sure the child felt a range of emotions.
Babies rely on their mothers, so by mother not helping her get out of an uncomfortable and semi-chaotic spot it breaks that team notion that mom will pick up the slack every time. It causes baby to think on a more independent level and after enough incidences baby will think before acting realizing that mom may not.....or will not assist. I think this is a very important lesson.....
I am sure that when I am a mother I will do the same thing. However, when I think back to my tweens and teens these lessons were not so effective. I felt like they drove a wedge between my parents and I. Life will have so many lessons, I don't need to learn lessons at home. While I am grateful for some, I'm still not so happy with others- but it balances out.
Many of us who grew up with these types of parents (I take my hat off to all of you because it's hard to teach your kids effectively) grow up with the lesson giving mentality. We take it all through life and apply it in spheres where we should be promoting dependence and teamwork.
These lessons were to teach independence--so when your co-worker does something you don't agree with, proverbially "teaching them a lesson" draws a divide on the team. Because somebody did something you didn't agree with, is it now right to be tardy on your reports? That is consequently going to hold everybody up-and just may come back to you somehow. It will definitely lessen the motivation of the "lesson learner" to continue working with you.
When your BF/GF does something you don't agree with, why wouldn't you want to draw them closer to you as opposed to pushing them away with negative reinforcements? If you don't like that your honey told friends about an argument, why would you stop speaking to them? That's just going to push them further. And probably fuel them to tell everybody that you're being even more stubborn
If your neighbor puts their trash out to early without a can, and you now a raccoon is going to tear it up, why wouldn't u pull their can around front and help them? Realize, their trash will undeniably make the entire block look bad. So who is really learning the lesson?
Personally, I react very negatively when I realize somebody is trying to make an example out of me, or teach me something. As a child, there was nothing worse to me than my mom saying "I was going to take you (insert fun here) but you don't deserve it so I'm not." I believe that is torture. If as a mother you no longer want to sacrifice the money on taking me someplace, then don't-it's your prerogative. But why do you need to tell me? Especially if I didn't ask. Now, if I asked and was looking forward to it, that's a totally different story. And now as an adult that has carried over and magnified 200 times over. People telling me what they're not going to do because of my attitude and actions makes me so upset; it makes me not want to deal with them at all. My reactions is Who do you think you are? You are not here to to teach me a lesson!
The fact of the matter is, sometimes instead of trying to teach others, we should teach ourselves more effective ways with dealing with the issue at hand. We can learn how to avoid such problem in the future. We should verbally communicate, and not leave it to our actions.
Apparently, the almost 3-year-old stepped behind the television, where she wasn't supposed to be, and then got her legs tangled in the cords and couldn't get out. After having told the child not to go back there several times, my sister decided to leave the child back there for a couple minutes. She reminded her that she had no business back there, and told her she was going to leave there until bed time. I knew she had no intention of doing such thing, but I'm sure the child felt a range of emotions.
Babies rely on their mothers, so by mother not helping her get out of an uncomfortable and semi-chaotic spot it breaks that team notion that mom will pick up the slack every time. It causes baby to think on a more independent level and after enough incidences baby will think before acting realizing that mom may not.....or will not assist. I think this is a very important lesson.....
I am sure that when I am a mother I will do the same thing. However, when I think back to my tweens and teens these lessons were not so effective. I felt like they drove a wedge between my parents and I. Life will have so many lessons, I don't need to learn lessons at home. While I am grateful for some, I'm still not so happy with others- but it balances out.
Many of us who grew up with these types of parents (I take my hat off to all of you because it's hard to teach your kids effectively) grow up with the lesson giving mentality. We take it all through life and apply it in spheres where we should be promoting dependence and teamwork.
These lessons were to teach independence--so when your co-worker does something you don't agree with, proverbially "teaching them a lesson" draws a divide on the team. Because somebody did something you didn't agree with, is it now right to be tardy on your reports? That is consequently going to hold everybody up-and just may come back to you somehow. It will definitely lessen the motivation of the "lesson learner" to continue working with you.
When your BF/GF does something you don't agree with, why wouldn't you want to draw them closer to you as opposed to pushing them away with negative reinforcements? If you don't like that your honey told friends about an argument, why would you stop speaking to them? That's just going to push them further. And probably fuel them to tell everybody that you're being even more stubborn
If your neighbor puts their trash out to early without a can, and you now a raccoon is going to tear it up, why wouldn't u pull their can around front and help them? Realize, their trash will undeniably make the entire block look bad. So who is really learning the lesson?
Personally, I react very negatively when I realize somebody is trying to make an example out of me, or teach me something. As a child, there was nothing worse to me than my mom saying "I was going to take you (insert fun here) but you don't deserve it so I'm not." I believe that is torture. If as a mother you no longer want to sacrifice the money on taking me someplace, then don't-it's your prerogative. But why do you need to tell me? Especially if I didn't ask. Now, if I asked and was looking forward to it, that's a totally different story. And now as an adult that has carried over and magnified 200 times over. People telling me what they're not going to do because of my attitude and actions makes me so upset; it makes me not want to deal with them at all. My reactions is Who do you think you are? You are not here to to teach me a lesson!
The fact of the matter is, sometimes instead of trying to teach others, we should teach ourselves more effective ways with dealing with the issue at hand. We can learn how to avoid such problem in the future. We should verbally communicate, and not leave it to our actions.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
CHOICES - Part I
It is SO amazing what can spark a thought, or jog a memory. While having a corny Hopkins moment this evening, I watched Evan Almighty with my family.....after a nice Father's Day dinner {I diced the celery :o) } As silly as the movie was, it definitely sparked some thought on asking and receiving.....from God.
God has given us free will. It would probably be a lot easier for us ALL to get into heaven if we didn't. And we all did the right thing, all the time. But that is not the world in which we live. It would make God happiest if we listened to Him, always decided according to His will, and gave Him glory in all we did. However, He still gives us an option, He still allows us to choose.
If God will give us a choice, above His own happiness, does it make sense that He will take away our choice for our own happiness? I think not!
I think back to all of the sermons and lessons that I've received that instructed me to be specific in my prayer, and not to block my blessings. I recall one in particular where my Pastor (Bishop W. Raymond Whitaker, II of Greater Free Gift Baptist Cathedral,) illustrated that if you are praying for a job, you need to be out looking for a job. And all the many songs telling that "God will make a way."
It is indeed the way that God will provide. And this rule applies across the board. When we pray for money, God is not going to wake us up to a pile of hundreds, or give us the winning lottery numbers; but He may create more overtime at our jobs, or give us an opportunity to make more money. Most people however, do not recognize the opportunity given to us. When we are praying for a new car to get to our new midnight - 6am job, we think the Crazy Eddie's radio commercial offering no down payments to low and bad credit scores are a sign from God, as opposed to offering helping that old sister from the Missionary Society who not only would allow you to use her vehicle because she doesn't go out after 8:00pm anyway; but, would also watch your kids, so if anything happened to that car, you wouldn't be rushing home because you didn't have adequate or responsible child care.
Another element that we miss is whether or not it is in God's will. If it is God's will for us to marry a certain person, we will have the opportunity to delight in such an event. If we pray for happiness, God isn't going to have us walking around smiling for no reason, but create opportunities to make us smile. Or create opportunities for us to eliminate elements in our life that impede such happiness.
God will always give us a choice. If he does not take away our choice for his own happiness, he is not going to take it away for our own. RECOGNIZING the RIGHT choice however is the key.
Stay tuned for Part II- Recognizing the Right Choice.
God has given us free will. It would probably be a lot easier for us ALL to get into heaven if we didn't. And we all did the right thing, all the time. But that is not the world in which we live. It would make God happiest if we listened to Him, always decided according to His will, and gave Him glory in all we did. However, He still gives us an option, He still allows us to choose.
If God will give us a choice, above His own happiness, does it make sense that He will take away our choice for our own happiness? I think not!
I think back to all of the sermons and lessons that I've received that instructed me to be specific in my prayer, and not to block my blessings. I recall one in particular where my Pastor (Bishop W. Raymond Whitaker, II of Greater Free Gift Baptist Cathedral,) illustrated that if you are praying for a job, you need to be out looking for a job. And all the many songs telling that "God will make a way."
It is indeed the way that God will provide. And this rule applies across the board. When we pray for money, God is not going to wake us up to a pile of hundreds, or give us the winning lottery numbers; but He may create more overtime at our jobs, or give us an opportunity to make more money. Most people however, do not recognize the opportunity given to us. When we are praying for a new car to get to our new midnight - 6am job, we think the Crazy Eddie's radio commercial offering no down payments to low and bad credit scores are a sign from God, as opposed to offering helping that old sister from the Missionary Society who not only would allow you to use her vehicle because she doesn't go out after 8:00pm anyway; but, would also watch your kids, so if anything happened to that car, you wouldn't be rushing home because you didn't have adequate or responsible child care.
Another element that we miss is whether or not it is in God's will. If it is God's will for us to marry a certain person, we will have the opportunity to delight in such an event. If we pray for happiness, God isn't going to have us walking around smiling for no reason, but create opportunities to make us smile. Or create opportunities for us to eliminate elements in our life that impede such happiness.
God will always give us a choice. If he does not take away our choice for his own happiness, he is not going to take it away for our own. RECOGNIZING the RIGHT choice however is the key.
Stay tuned for Part II- Recognizing the Right Choice.
Friday, May 30, 2008
I love you
When I look into your eyes, I see depths that my wildest dreams cannot imagine
When I feel your heartbeat I feel a strength I cannot comprehend
Your nature has a control of me- that's visible to all
The passion that exists- the passion that flows- the fire that burns
I pray that we fan the flames forever
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Star is still in the sky
Good Morning (Neighbor)
Over the last few weeks I've received numerous e-mails, texts, phone calls and comments from people wondering why I haven't had any new posts. In response, I sent out a morning message last week; however I still didn't have anything blog-worthy......
I honestly haven't had anything to share. I've been straightening some things out----- which have been the forefront of my mind. And I haven't felt moved to write about these things. I haven't really been very poetic, and way too busy for prose.
It's not my style to do things just for the sake of doing things. And I'm not going to post just for the sake of posting. I'm not going to pretend that something is more important or interesting to me than it really is. ---- So again, I am fine. I am still thinking, and as soon as the time is right I'll be back on blogspot. Until then be steadfast and diligent in your thinking, and above all else--- GET UNDERSTANDING!!!!!
Be blessed until we meet again,
Nay---L'etoil.
Over the last few weeks I've received numerous e-mails, texts, phone calls and comments from people wondering why I haven't had any new posts. In response, I sent out a morning message last week; however I still didn't have anything blog-worthy......
I honestly haven't had anything to share. I've been straightening some things out----- which have been the forefront of my mind. And I haven't felt moved to write about these things. I haven't really been very poetic, and way too busy for prose.
It's not my style to do things just for the sake of doing things. And I'm not going to post just for the sake of posting. I'm not going to pretend that something is more important or interesting to me than it really is. ---- So again, I am fine. I am still thinking, and as soon as the time is right I'll be back on blogspot. Until then be steadfast and diligent in your thinking, and above all else--- GET UNDERSTANDING!!!!!
Be blessed until we meet again,
Nay---L'etoil.
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