Another Universe

Here is the re post/reassembling....... This is as close to the original as I could get. I guess this would be the ruins..........

The answer is always the same

And it's because I love him

You can never understand

Because sometimes I don't

But of one thing I'm sure

And that's how I love him

He has unlocked a door to my heart

A door that led to a secret place

He propels me farther than I'd ever dreamed

Where I can be vulnerable but not disgraced

His heart cries out to mine

And naturally, I always answers

My soul has no secret from his

With him the truth is always easy

even when we fight

It's not about wrong or right

Just working it out and making it work

I know if I turn over I'll find him each and every night

I can always rest assure that he will come to me

to fulfill his wants and respond to his needs

Nobody else exists

The past doesn't matter

As he says, the telling of my eyes is the fortune of his future

So when you ask me why I smile

It's because I love him

And when you ask me why I cry, it's because he loves me.

He loved me from the start

and it wasn't always easy

through it all-even through the pain

and temptation-of memories and insecurity

We loved each other through life, and death

Through things of which we could never forgive another

But the special spark we share could never be calmed

Through good and bad we loved each other

Through gain and loss, we loved even harder

Through happy and sad we loved the hardest

Impenetrable, Unbreakable, Unrelenting

LOVE

In the face of adversity

I loved him

To the back of defeat

He loved me

And when it all seemed useless

and love didn't seem enough

In response we loved even more

And in response, love will never leave us.

Wasted Potential

I once met a person, and I felt comfortable around them; but as circumstances would have it, we never made an effort to be around each other much and almost fell out of contact. Somehow, however, as quickly as we almost lost each other forever we found each other for what seemed like would be forever.

Upon reconnection there was an instant connection felt by both of us. He once wrote to me that we shared a special bond, and he wished it would have began sooner. And I thought that it began right on time, but if it's so strong, and so worth it then we have the power to make it last.

What we shared was more than a friendship; and I always felt it would be an injustice to the chemistry to lessen its importance by labeling it such. I once believed that the timing was right and everything was set into place, but if in fact that was the case perhaps this thought wouldn't exist.

We had the ingredients for success. And there was a lot of potential; but energy never disappears, it is only redirected.

Life is a puzzle......of many pieces.....which are constantly changing. Pieces that fit today may not fit tomorrow. Let us put our puzzles together while the pieces fit!

Be blessed (sorry, I can't think of a scripture for this)

NAY

Purpose

(I will speak more on this later.......but for now, here are my random thoughts)

Moderation and Purpose are two elements heavily on my mind today.

Quite often we develop new habits and fall into routines that serve not much of a purpose. Humans are creatures of habit and we become rigid in such habits. So much so that we can eventually lose the initial motivation; we lose sight of our purpose and do not practice moderation.

Recently, in the midst of a situation, I asked myself; "Why am I here?" And, for the first time in a long time I needed to honestly answer that question ........I needed to evaluate my purpose and consider my level of enthusiasm, and decide why I was moderate in a situation where I would generally be overzealous (it's important to know ourselves)..........

Until I am so moved to meet this subject again, I challenge you all to consider your purpose, moderation, and motivation.

Be blessed, Nay

Friends create new worlds

Good Day Folks!

For those of you who received the morning text.....are already aware that I'm on a friendship kick today. And for the rest of you; here it is! I shared the words of Aristotle;

"What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies."

On my search for friendship quotes I also came across the words of Anais Nin:

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it's only by this meeting that a new world is born."

There isn't much more for me to say on this except that I can attest to the fact that I share something special and unique with each of my friends; there is a common bond with all of them....today I am reflecting on those friendships. And am happy to have them.....and look forward to further growth and new additions to the fold.
Be blessed all!

"A friend loveth at all times."- Proverbs 17:17

Wright is not wrong.

The Black Church as we know it today was born to us as the child of circumstance and necessity. Throughout the nearly 300 years that it has been in existence it has grown and evolved but still serves a common purpose. I respect the Black Church for its place in society, and I participate in and love what it has become. Today, I am totally disgusted at the way it is being viewed and scrutinized through the American-media magnifying glass. I am most angry at the fact that once again a minority group in America has made the most of what was given to them and those who created the situation will not condemn it. (Soon to be) First Lady Michelle Obama recently stated that she was proud of her country for the first time in her adult life. And today I am sad to report that my pride is in the toilet.

At a time when Black men were spoken to as boys, and women regarded as cattle the Black Church served as a place to give disrespected and displaced people a sense of purpose and feeling of belonging. After days of serving, toiling, and sheer disregard the same man who was called boy could stand in a pulpit as a leader and addressed by a title. Women were treated with respect and made to feel like more than animals.

Ironically, the very same Protestant religion that the Black Church embraced and followed as if it were Orthodox was not indigenous to Black people. The Bible which was used to justify slavery became a book of love and a plan for salvation. Slavery would soon be over and Moses born again. The Black Church, and its people will overcome. The Black Church and its people can rise to any occasion and make it work.

Through Slavery, Reconstruction, Industrial Revolution, World Wars, Women's Rights, Civil Rights', AIDS , and now on the cusp of this country realizing a Black man can become President the Black Church has played a pivotal role. The Black Church is a pillar in society; throughout these major eras in society the Black community has looked to its churches for opportunity, education, communication, uplifting and most of all Salvation.

In American society, Pastors are respected, and in the Black community/family, cousin-Pastor and cousin-Doctor are both respected; but cousin-Pastor is revered. (Or maybe that's just my family.) The Black Church and the Black family (traditionally) are similar in the Pastor is the Father, or the Head. Mama/Deacons can do everything the father can in it's absence, but it is believed, accepted (and Biblical) to have a Pastor or a Father/Husband at the head. Members may mumble but will not really challenge the Pastor; but will take everything to the Deacons who will bring things to his attention when necessary. The same way I would go to my mother to soften my father up but would NEVER oppositionally approach him. And all families have one cardinal rule; WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS HOUSE, STAYS IN THIS HOUSE!

So it is closest to the middle of crazy as I have ever seen that Pastor Jeremiah Wright is under the scrutiny that he is. It is asinine that the media is pulling apart his sermons and people are criticizing his leadership. If you are not a member of Trinity United Church of Christ then what is said there, and what goes on there is none of your business. Up until February 10, 2008 Pastor Wright faithfully served the Lord, and his dutifully served his congregation.

**thank you for reading thus far** and since you are still with me, let me take off my sweater and get down to business....Let's be real, let me be conversational....

Pastor Wright is under the magnifying glass because of his ties to Presidential-hopeful Barack Obama. The Pastor's words are misunderstood and publicly implicated for the purpose of discrediting Barack Obama. America, what kind of world are we living in when we are taking stands against Spiritual Leaders for the purpose of discrediting a mere man? Barack Obama does not have supernatural powers, he breathes oxygen, he drinks water, bleeds red blood and has 32 teeth just like the rest of us. How dare we attack Pastor Wright. Have we forgotten this man represents God?

The question of what attracted Senator Obama to Pastor Wright's church to begin with? And I continue to be baffled that this was even a question..... Why do people join churches? Because of God, Salvation through Jesus and being led by the Holy Spirit. The job of the leader of the Black church is not to just preach. It's not a Sunday morning 11am - 1pm (or so) job, and go home. It's not show up for Wednesday Bible and Friday prayer and go home. It is a 24 hours a day; 7 days a week; rain or shine, sleet, snow, wind or sand storm ON CALL position. The Pastor has to be there for sick, bereaved, to address issues in the community, deal with church business. When done right, it is proactive. It is not a job, it is a person; it is a life. The Black Church is not a place, it is a part of a lifestyle. It is a part of the Black-in-America lifestyle. Only fully understood by those who live the life.

I've never polled, but I'm sure that if 100 Black people who were not faithful church-goers were compared to 100 non-Blacks they could answer more questions about their respective churches correctly. As I am sure if those same 200 people (100 Black, 100 non-Black) were dropped in the middle of a Black Church, almost all of the Black people will be able to correctly identify the First Lady, Chairman of the Deacon Board, Mother Board and point out the Amen-Corner.... they will know the proper titles to address people and when getting ready, most of the women even if they have to will feel self-conscious about wearing pants and open-toe shoes. And at least one of the songs may sound vaguely familiar, perhaps they remember Mama or M'dear singing it while hanging sheets to dry when they were children down in the country. It is a Lifestyle.

For promoting Black business, instilling pride in his community; Reverend Wright has been called 'anti-American.' I am having a lot of trouble accepting how a Black person (descendant of slaves) can be anti-American. (Because I don't want to end up in Guantanamo Bay brought up on charges I want to clarify) I love this country, and I am happy to be free, I am happy to be in a place where I can pull my fully paid for '05 car into the driveway of the home my parents own; where I can type on my laptop; ever so often glimpsing my college graduation ring on my hand; diamonds reflecting the light from the 42" television as my fingers move across the keyboard criticizing the country in which I live. This great opportunity wouldn't be tolerated everywhere. And knowing that if I wasn't in this country I may not have the same opportunity and amenities. But then again, I might.....after all, if the powers that be in this country had it their way I might be in shackles somewhere picking cotton.

**We're still being real, so let's take it there**

There is a difference between American and Black America. If there weren't we wouldn't have to put the Black in front of Churches, Businesses, Schools, and, Neighborhoods (just to name a few.) White is implied, it is automatically assumed that establishments and organizations are White. White is American. Which is why if it is Black the specification must be made......But Black people didn't make it that way. They (we)found a way to survive by creating their own stuff. If Blacks couldn't eat and shop with Whites, what were expected to starve? I think not! White people made it very clear that Black people were viewed as less than humans. This was illustrated by the many signs which hang over entrances to establishments refusing DOGS and NIGGERS. Even Abraham Lincoln, who is held as one of the greatest men in America is quoted as saying "the Negro is not my equal in many respects---certainly not in color, perhaps not in moral or intellectual endowment."

Pastor Wright, a man who served in the United States Marine Corps, and Navy, earned and received a Bachelor's and Master's degree in English(Howard U), a Master's (U of Chicago) and Doctorate in Divinity (United Theological Seminary) and has received 8 honorary degrees from various institutions throughout the country is now deemed anti-American and racist. How is that possible? In a country that actually had laws in place to impede Black people from voting, reading, and marrying White people this man volunteered to protect it. And has given his life to preach God's word to its people.

Pastor Wright was born in 1941, he has memories of the 1950's, he was there for the Civil Rights Movement. His parents and grandparents ASSUREDLY shared with him stories of fear and separation worse than he could have experienced. So why wouldn't this man be supportive of his community? Why shouldn't he promote Black businesses and success? Should he forget about the hundreds of years of injustices because an act was signed? The same people who were against the Act are still around. Just as his grandmother sat up and shared her horrors, another boy born in 1941 of another persuasion heard from his grandmother why Black people are like animals. There is a disparity between Blacks and White's in America. And the more we ignore it, the larger it will grow. Perhaps we should recognize the differences and not fear the past. Let's not be ashamed, let's work to rectify.

Some of Pastor Wright's ideas may not be widely accepted, but in 1935 would anybody have believed that the American government was participating in what is now known as the Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment? Pastor Wright (although now retired) is a man; a man of a certain era, but most importantly a man of God.

I leave with you scripture: TOUCH NOT MINE ANOINTED, AND DO MY PROPHET NO HARM, Psalms 105:15.

As always I love you for reading, feel free to comment......Be blessed- Naomi Hopkins.

Only Thoughts Matter

"It doesn't matter who my father as, it matters who I remember he was." - Anne Sexton


The relationship of father to child is a special one. A child is impressionable and learns first from its parents. Generally children receive their instruction and experiences in the house, void from influence and ideas of the rest of the world. A parent can give a child any impression of them they want.

A person who does not pay their bills can convey responsibility. One who never commits can portray themselves as reliable. A child has nothing else to measure it to and will not, and cannot make decisions based on other people's experiences. They take the impressions they parents press upon them as the gospel truth and will not challenge it.

With parenthood one can reinvent themself, be a totally different person in the eyes of their child than they are to the face of the world. As dynamic as this coversion is. I believe Ms. Sexton has stepped into waters deeper than she charted.

Cooley's looking glass theory (my favorite sociological theory) states, "We are not who we think we are. We are not who others think we are. We are who others think we are." Basically, on some level everybody believes this. The accepted difference is that some people care what others think, and others don't. But I challenge that perhaps the uncaring section of the bunch only wants other to think they do not care.

For example; I like my clothes to match. However I could care less about socks. And when asked, most people I know respond that they really aren't concerned with the colour and matching aspect of people's socks (yours truly included.) However, somewhere along the way I came to believe that people would not view me as serious, or responsible. And if I was too irresponsible to match my socks who knew what else that could imply?

On a more serious note, for many reasons (too much to get into now) I want to marry a Black man. I am nowhere near that type of committment, nor has such a mate been seriously identified. And it is possible that I may fall in love and marry someone not of the African-American race, but if based on race alone my choice is Black. This preference is a personal one. And I am sure that there are many others who agree with me for more, less, or, the same reasons. However this is not a fact that I shout from rooftops because I believe that people would think I am racist. it doesn't matter that statistically people marry within their races much more than any other commonality. My main concern is that I do not want to be associated with racism.

As previously mentioned, on some level, everybody is aware that our actions are not held on their own merits; but on the interpretations of others. How often do we change up our approach and make it person specific to our subject because we believe that somebody will take it wrong.

With that, why do we get so upset when people are upset, or hurt by our words and actions unintentionally. Why is so hard for us to apologize to them when we realize we communicate effectively; when we realize we may have overstated or understated, or OD'd as some would say?

When it comes to legacies, we generally have an idea and act to make it a reality. We work towards a valued outcome. We should have a valued outcome in all we do. We should think and be goal and solution oriented. Not simply shooting from the cuff and possibly over-communicating a point. Because even in forgiveness there are words and actions that may not be forgotten.

Be blessed all!
Nay.

Moderation and Purpose

(I will speak more on this later.......)

Moderation and Purpose are two very undervalued elements in society.


Quite often we develop new habits and fall into routines that serve not much of a purpose. Humans are creatures of habit and we become rigid in such habits. So much so that we can eventually lose the initial motivation; we lose sight of our purpose and do not practice moderation.

Recently, in the midst of a situation, I asked myself; "Why am I here?" And, for the first time in a long time I needed to honestly answer that question for myself........I needed to evaluate my purpose and consider moderation..........

Until I am so moved to meet this subject again, I challenge you all to consider your purpose, moderation, and motivation.

Be blessed,
Nay

Can't recover from Clyde

I haven't posted in a while.......

My last post was up for about a day or two, but I deleted it. I got a few responses and as always I appreciate the feedback. Especially from anonymous. I couldn't decipher your identity from your post......but you know who you are. I thank you for your support and the positivity your post exuded.

My last post was very personal. It was a free verse poem, dedicated to my Clyde. I wrote it (long before I posted it) at a time where I thought if he and I could get through anything. After a few rough patches I took a break, I left town for a few days to get my thoughts together and when I decided to write about him I was filter free and got straight to the point.....

By the time I posted it I was still feeling positive but the newness wore off and although it was still personal I wanted to share with Clyde, and everybody. You guys know I think we should share our experiences.........

I experienced vulnerability which is a difficult feeling for me; and for the first time in my life I wasn't ashamed. I was completely honest about the intensity of the emotions I was feeling and how I was growing and evolving. I illustrated the parallels of our souls and strength of our bond. I smiled,because I loved him; I was happy because he loved me.

Clyde's response was extremely negative, and he questioned if what I felt was really love. He went on to communicate that truth is negative to love......it was very hurtful and unexpected. Also being a lyricist I would have expected Clyde to understand the honor of being the subject of my most personal positive piece of love to date.

Afterwards he explained that he was playing devil's advocate, but I couldn't understand how that was appropriate? The same Clyde which inspired me to be so true to my own feelings also incited me to delete my post. His negativity totally voided all the emotion that was put into it. My words were immediately left empty.......

Yesterday, Clyde asked me why I hadn't posted in a while. With everything that has happened to me this past month he probably thought it was odd that I hadn't written my way through it......but temporarily I couldn't place the purpose.....

For those who have been with me for a while know that I rarely write about happiness in love, and even rarer I share personal things, but with Clyde I changed it up a bit. And on two other occassions I shared my feelings with Clyde and he tells me that I've insulted him. I don't really know how my feelings or impression of someone else can hurt their feelings. If somebody told me my actions made them feel a certain way and that's not the way I made them feel I wouldn't be insulted I would ammend my actions........but it doesn't matter anymore because as Clyde said I have "said things that cannot be recovered from."