To wish or not to wish

To wish....or not to wish....does it really matter Current mood: contemplative

It's funny the way we give advice that we would never follow ourselves…..I recently told a friend that if she really wanted to be in an exclusive relationship with a particular man that she should stop dating other men and focus on that one. I am sure that she knows in theory that is the right thing to do. I know that she simply didn't want to put all of her eggs in one basket. But sometimes as friends we are torn between telling what we believe is right, or what we think should be done. I watched way to many Disney movies as a child and I almost always end up doing what I think is right. And through tightly clenched eyes and crossed fingers I sit back and pray for my happy ending…..

But my friend is not Ariel, I am not Belle, there is no such thing as a happy ending if we don't have happy right nows. We live in real life which is not fair. And for the most part, bar the weather, the climate of situations does not change overnight. If somebody isn't interested then they are not interested. And most people do not put anybody else's feelings above their own. They may consider them briefly, but in the end will act in a manner to which is beneficial to them.

I feel bad for my friend because I see what is happening to her, it's happened to many people in the past, and if I don't stay alert I too could fall victim to it. She is a good woman, she is independent, pays her own rent, has a GREAT job with GREAT benefits, makes more money on her own than some of the double income families that I know of. She is kind, talented and beautiful. I think she deserves a good man, if just for the mere fact it would be one less woman out there for me to compete with. But she is not going to prepare herself for the one she wants out of fear that he won't want her back. She played by the rules once before and still lost, so there really is no motivation to go down that road again. Instead, she will date multiple guys, receiving something different from all of them that will make up one good man.

I told her that the good ones are intimidated. They see her in all her perfection and realize that she would make the perfect wife, they know she isn't somebody they would want to lose. She would be the perfect mate as she is supportive and motivating. And when they look at her they see their own flaws. But what they don't realize is that if they were honest, she wouldn't even see their flaws. But instead, they go for easy women which present no future. They pursue women they know they can get because these women are not on their level, and sometimes nowhere near it. Where does that leave my poor friend?

I wish I could tell her. I no longer feel comfortable telling her to just wait, things will get better; he will come to his senses; the one who is right for you will not put you through this. But the truth is, I don't believe those things myself. After all, I'm single too. And the truth is, if I could tell her what to do, I would have done it myself. And if I knew the words to make her feel better I would too. So I will continue listening and advising her to wait for Prince Charming…..