In memory of Lisa

Panic….


In McDonalds yesterday (I know I shouldn’t eat that crap) I saw a girl having an asthma attack. Most of the other customers were staring, and some even laughing. At first I thought she was choking, but then I realized she wasn’t eating, it seems as though she was standing on line before I walked in. I ran back to my car and got my inhaler, I shook it and helped her guide it to her mouth to pump.


After a few pumps and me talking to her she was okay. She didn’t have an inhaler, I left her mine it only had about 2 good pumps left (but she coulda kept it anyway….ill germs!) She hugged me and started crying. And of course lost her breath again. I’m sure to everybody else in the store she seemed crazy, but I felt her pain. The worst thing ever is having an asthma attack. Not being able to breathe is difficult. You’re sucking air into your body but it’s not staying. You can’t fill your lungs with air, and cannot catch your breath. It’s almost like that feeling you get when you inhale the fumes of Clorox or ammonia (we’ve all done that as foolish kids.) but it lasts much longer. Depending on the severity or cause of the attack with short calm deliberate breaths you may be able to catch your breath temporarily but that’s not a risk anybody should take…..


Most of us asthmatics have more than one inhaler; at home, in the car, at work and another random one in a bag under the bed somewhere. My primary inhaler was in purse which was stolen on New Years Eve. And of course I had an asthma attack. It was the second of the night. And knowing that I didn’t have my albuterol I panicked. Without the medicine to expand my constricting lungs it was all up to me to remain calm and get whatever oxygen I could get.


Thank goodness the people around me called 911. Left to myself I was a mess. EMT’s gave me a quick treatment and my breathing was back to normal. (even though the mix of steroids n alcohol made me high)


A few months prior to that, while shopping with Bunny and baby I had an asthma attack and used the last of the med in my inhaler. A few hours later I had another. Bunny got me to CVS quickly but unfortunately there weren’t any refills left on my prescription. Noticing my condition the pharmacist gave it to me anyway. After I’d caught my breath I paid the co-pay and he made me promise to get a prescription on Monday morning and bring it to him.


My biggest fear is and always has been not being in control. And not being able to breathe is the biggest loss of control ever. Not breathing, not getting oxygen will undoubtedly lead to death. People take asthma to be a joke, I have friends who laugh everytime I suck on my inhaler. I have family members who make fun of me.


A friend of the family, Lisa Leggon, passed from an asthma attack, it’s not something I play with. I take it very seriously and wish for it to get more coverage and attention. I was a child when it happened, and it was assumed I’d grown out of my asthma. And while I never think of it mid-attack, when it’s over I always think that I could have died. So right now, 3rd day of the year, and already 3 attacks had I have no voice and a sore throat. But I much rather this loss of voice and sore throat than loss of life.